


Taming the Monster

by Optional_Orders



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optional_Orders/pseuds/Optional_Orders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Annie Leonhart has mended all problems with the squad. Yet she isn't satisfied. Her desire for freedom grows as the burden increases as the four walls around her close in on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taming the Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to do this because of my lovely friend. This is my first ever Attack on Titan fanfiction. I hope you enjoy. Comments? Go ahead. -Orders

Annie Leonhart walked back to her room after a long day with her squad. The others were either in the showers or in the dining area. Annie just left the showers. Her hair was wet and clumpy. She was wearing her grey hooded jacket and a pair of brown pants. Her towel was hung around her shoulders. She was muttering under her breath. "Was it five? Or ten? Sixteen?" She asked herself. "Definitely sixteen." Sixteen titans killed in one day. That felt good. She hasn't killed that much since she entered the squad. It was a good anger management exercise.

She was glad that she and the squad finally got to sort their problems. All grudges forgiven. All problems solved. They didn't care about the Female Titan. Or so they say.

Annie bid goodnight to her squad. They went to their respective rooms. Some rooms could fit four people. But in Annie's case, she was the only one. She knew they still feared. Yet they just say it was a 'precautionary measure'.

Her room was at the end of the corridor. No light lit the hallway. With a metal door, it looked dark and sinister. It wasn't connected to the other rooms. It was separated from the others. Annie frowned upon seeing her room. _Another night in the cold._ She thought. _That's what you get for having a titan as the other side of the coin._ Annie held the large wheel to open the door. With a few twists, the door unlocked. She pulled the heavy door and went inside. Annie locked herself in the darkness. "Another day fighting titans." She said to herself. "Another day fighting myself." As she entered the darkness, she lit a candle she placed on a shelf right before she leaves for the day. The candle was the only light she had. No large windows to see the outside world. Only a small rectangular hole on the top of the wall. Annie couldn't even reach it. The hole was just for air and light. Nothing else.

She raised the candle to the level of her chest. The small candle illuminated the room, revealing marks and scratches and caused on the metal wall. She occasionally transformed into the Female Titan in the room. And whenever she did, no one came for help. Upon seeing the marks, she shuddered as worry shrouded her life. She approached the wall and stroked her fingers on one of the marks. She pursed her lips, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Annie somewhat liked the room. It was the only time she was vulnerable. Yet with one more look, she shrugged the dust in her life and carried on. _Don't look back, Annie._ She thought. _Don't look back. They forgave you. It wasn't your fault._ Yet looking back was impossible.

Laying the candle on a frail wooden table by her cold bed, Annie sat on the bed and cupped her hands on her knees. _What should I do?_ She was confused. That rarely happens to her. _What now?_ She thought as she looked around her room. Annie didn't know what to do anymore. Her world was torn in two. Was she actually with humanity? Or was she still in the darkness? Does she even belong in the squad? Or does she belong outside the safety of the 50 ft wall? Confused, she held her head and lied down. She still didn't understand her problem. How did she even get it? Who is she even fighting for? _Do they still even like me?_

Annie raised her hands and rolled up the sleeves of her jacket. As she rolled it up, her eyes gazed at the ring on her index finger. She froze for a moment. Annie was tempted yet she was also terrified to transform. _You're trying to hurt yourself, Annie. Stop risking your life and the life of others. Don't make it control you. Don't make it rule._ She concentrated. She thought of why she never removed the ring. _Whose side are you even on?_ And she doubts that she will do that.

Annie needed help. She was desperate to escape her problem. Her squad did everything to help her. The room was one of the ideas. Yet it didn't keep her safe. It harmed her even more. The titan was vulnerable. The room made her crave. It made her desire for freedom. She had freedom whenever she was with her squad. But it was a job. You had to do what you're told.

The blonde tried to recall who thought of the idea of making her room like this. _Oh yeah._ She remembered. _Armin Arlert._ Annie pictured the short blond friend of Eren, the one she had to capture. _Armin Arlert. What a strange person. How could someone with heart do something so heartless? Or does he have a reason for this?_ Annie started to hate him. Freedom was lost. She became an outcast. With burning, hate, Annie punched the wall, causing the ring to give a small cut on her finger.

The unexpected happened. It rarely happens these days. The last time was two weeks ago. The world of Annie became a blur. Cursing, she got up from the bed and extinguished the fire. _Not again._ She thought. _Please. Not now._ Why plead to something uncontrollable? She crashed on the table. Then she did something. Something she rarely does. She screamed to the heavens.

_Don't scream. Nobody would come for aid. Just calm down, Leonhart._ Calm down.

Tears streamed down of her face. The burden on her was killing her slowly. She believed no one would save her. Not Eren, not Bert, not Mikasa, not Reiner, especially not Armin. But she remembered Armin. She remembered his bravery as he became bait to lead her to a trap. How he had heart. _Brave little Armin Arlert. Yet never shall I forgive._

Her heartbeat went faster. Annie was screaming for help. She was banging the walls. Yet the cries in the darkness were never heard. She wanted freedom. She needed somebody. A stepping stone. A rock. A pole to grab on to in the middle of a hurricane.

As her screams and cries bounced of the walls of the room, she heard a knock. The blonde raised her head. "Who is that?"

"Annie?"

She recognized the voice. "Armin?" She croaked as she trembled in fear.

"I heard you scream for help. Why are you banging the walls?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She growled.

"Is it the titan?"

Annie nodded. "Yes. It's trying to make me transform." Annie wiped her tears. "I don't want to transform." She whispered to herself. "I don't want to change. I need to calm down."

"I can help you."

Annie scoffed as she twitched. She was scratching the back of her neck. "You, Armin Arlert? You, help me? Are you insane?"

"I want to help you again."

"Help? Again?" She shouted as she ran to the door and banged on it. "What are you going to do? Improve the room? I can't believe that you call this room help. I'm living in this hellhole. I'm separated from the world. The cold slowly kills me. The only thing that keeps me alive is a candle and a window. Why?" She asked, walking around in circles and returning to her bed.

Armin didn't reply. He didn't know how Annie felt. All she wanted was freedom. "A-a-annie. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought that you'd be fine with i-"

"Fine? Fine?" She shouted. It was difficult for her to speak. She did her best to say what she felt. "Trapped in a room. When I transform, I'm hurting myself. I was so close, Armin. I was so close to staring at Death's face. Don't you know how I just wanted to be normal? To stay with my squad? I can't because all of you fear me! I'm afraid of myself too. I regret the past. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to kill anyone. I just want to be Annie. Annie Leonhart. Not the titan."

Annie was crying. She was vulnerable. She was weak. She was lying down at rock bottom, unable to get up. "I'm afraid too." Armin spoke up. "I'm afraid of titan Annie. I was afraid of Annie Leonhart too." Annie rolled her eyes. _How will this help me get better?_ "I was also afraid of losing our friends. And I feared you'd kill them. We both wouldn't like that. I know that if you wake up and find them dead before your eyes, you'd blame yourself. You'd blame yourself for what the insanity in you did. I did it for our safety. I did it so we'd be fine. You know what's nice about that room? You're safe. Nothing to harm you. Nothing to hurt you. The outside world turns to dust."

"I disagree. I'm, I mean, the titan is hurting me."

"You just have to control yourself."

"And how is that."

"Calm down. Think happy thoughts. Think of us."

Millions of memories came buzzing in her head. Her first day of being with the training squad. Fighting for the first time. Dinner with the squad. The laughter. The smiles. The stories. The bonds she made. And the hands she held on to when she fell. Annie smiled. His voice calmed her down. She wiped the tears away. She straightened her back and stood up. _I am Annie Leonhart. I am with humanity. I am sane. I am normal._ She thought. She repeated those words over and over again until she reached the door. She opened the door and found Armin carrying a lamp. His hair was untidy and he was wearing black pants and a white shirt under his blue cardigan. Annie smiled and Armin smiled back. "Are you okay now?" Suddenly, Annie flung herself towards the boy and hugged him tight. She cried in his shoulders. Her tears soaked his blue cardigan. Armin froze. He saw Annie Leonhart vulnerable for the first time. Was this even possible? Armin slowly raised his arms and hugged back.

"Thank you, Armin. Thank you. I will never forget this day. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Those four walls won't close against you tonight. That titan will never harm you." Armin said. Annie smiled. She looked at the ring on her finger. Slowly, she removed the ring and threw it away. She wiggled her fingers and her tears of joy came. _I am Annie Leonhart. I am with humanity._

The next morning, Annie transferred to a new room. For the first time, she tasted freedom.


End file.
